Trigger Warning - The following content talks about suicide and may induce triggers. Reader discretion is advised. 

2020 has been a roller coaster for almost everyone, worldwide. The year began with the news of COVID-19 wreaking havoc across continents. The following systematic lockdowns, closing of borders, travel restrictions, etc., all seemed to spell doom as most of us had only heard of in movies and books before. Many lives were lost in battling this virus, where loved ones could not even bid adieu to the departed souls. 

As work shifted to homes, education moved online. College and university students were faced with uncertainty of what the future held for them, especially those who were in their pre-final and final years, expecting campus placements with lucrative job offers or dreamt of flying abroad for their higher education. Hanging out and catching up with friends, besties & partners, had dwindled down to countless hours on the mobile & other electronic gadgets.

Being holed up inside the homes 24x7, the most under reported occurrences of domestic disputes that crossed the line into domestic violence reared its ugly head. In addition, many families lost their source of income, adding to the financial woes in terms of bulging loans and offsetting business losses. Mental Health started to garner attention again, especially after a young celebrity’s death by suicide (as per the reports to date) that occured in mid-2020 . What followed were a plethora of mental health issues being openly discussed  on public forums, including suicide confessions on social media handles like Facebook, Insta WhatsApp & Telegram. Multiple factors can put someone at a higher risk of becoming suicidal, apart from the possibility of any chronic mental condition such as clinical depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, substance abuse and other untreated mental illness[4].

Along with this comes the conundrum of what to do when faced with these kinds of confessions online or during casual conversations!? How do you support them and ensure that they get the necessary help?

Why do people consider suicide?

Suicide is a cry for help.  A person who is thinking of ending his/her own life is going through so much emotional pain / guilt that he/she thinks probably death is less painful, than their continued turmoil in their lives[1][4]. Such a person needs immediate support from those around him/her. In most cases, all it would require is a compassionate listener, who can just listen unconditionally, without judgment. The need to feel that they are cared for and shown some light at the end of their dark tunnel. 

Can we identify the signs/symptoms?

In most cases, those who are at a higher risk of being suicidal show one or more of these behavioural patterns[1][2][3][4] (please note this is  not an exhaustive list): 

• Excessive sadness, mood swings, unexpected anger, shame, guilt, sense of hopelessness.

• Social withdrawal, self-isolation.

• Change in personality – Lack of interest in personal appearance, hygiene, sex.

• Change in eating habits (loss of appetite, overeating), weight

• Change in sleep patterns, constant lack of stamina/strength.

• Self-harm, writing suicide notes, putting affairs in order (destroying or giving away their once priced possessions or memoirs, which they were significantly attached during their better days)

What you should AVOID telling, when you encounter someone with suicidal thoughts

• This too shall pass, Sleep over it, It’s a passing phase, ...

• Look at those who are in a worse position than you - You need to be thankful for what you have.

• Cribbing about what did not happen (or what you lost) isn’t going to help you. Forget it and move on. Find something else to focus on.

• Can you not see the million other good things in your life?

• Find a hobby/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner.

What YOU CAN DO when you realize that someone is feeling suicidal

Understand that they are desperately looking for help when they are reaching out to you.

• Listen to them. Make it abundantly clear that you are concerned about them and their wellbeing and in no way judging them or their behavioural changes.

• Never criticize or trivialize their feelings.

• Give them the assurance that you are always there for them to talk.

• Make them feel that they are important and cared for. 

• Nudge them to reach out to suicide prevention helplines (as they are trained to handle and comfort them better)

• Explore the possibility of them getting therapeutic help from professionals for their suicidal feelings.

If you are unable to help, reach out for professional support, without any delay, to one of several Suicide Prevention Helplines across India. A desperate cry for help tending to a suicide is to be treated with the same seriousness, as the life threatening condition of heart attack or stroke, given that every second counts.

Some of the Suicide Prevention Helplines-

• KIRAN  - 1800-599-0019 - 24*7  multilingual National Helpline by Government of India

• Mpower - 1800120820050 -  24*7  multilingual

• Fortis MentalHealth - 8376804102 - 24*7

• Vandrevala Foundation - 1860-266-2345/1800-233-330 - 24*7

References:

1. https://snehaindia.org/new/index.php/about-suicide-3/

2. https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-recognizing-signs-of-suicide

3. https://www.suicideline.org.au/ 

4. Clifford T. Morgan, Richard A. King, John R. Weis, John Schopler (1986). Development During Adolescence, Adulthood, and Old Age, Abnormal Psychology : Introduction to Psychology. Tata McGraw-Hill Publishing Company Limited, New Delhi.